Sunday, January 29, 2006

thick cola gurgle.

I'm wondering about a lot of things lately..........


people lie.......i won't state any names.


i keep eating too much candy......


why did i just buy a cake?......


coca-cola makes my body ache.



my dog has maggots.............and i don't even have a dog.


i know how to play 4 chords..............duh.


i met a walrus......................that was stupid.






chet.

or........


cam.



aka


lazer thunder..............no............definitely just cam.

Monday, January 23, 2006

sabzi.

election day cometh........meh.


the greatest movie moment of all time is when hitler autographs dr. jones' father's diary in the third Indiana Jones film..........hell.....yeah?


i have some new fetishes:


Geoff Berner - Whiskey Rabbi

Zapoleon and The Bluemilkstars - random tracks from the next album


O
bservatory - song called "Polymorphisms Today"




i need a bath.........i need a shave......i need some cinnamon



film commencement................prepared?


Monday, January 16, 2006

tuning out.

HOLY COW!!!!!!!!

a new beginning for our beloved hero.......



i'm finding it hard to be ambitious AND lazy.........fuck!!

I think this little blabfest is similar to the concerns of Lord Ali in his latest post.......


is it wrong that i am finding it difficult to give a ham sandwich about the upcoming elections?

partisan politics makes me want to stab little children.......

why don't more people question the fact that our money goes toward million dollar ad campaigns for politicians..........and not a damn one of us is any more knowledgable about the actual beliefs or platforms of the various party leaders having consumed the 30 second blips.............

i know this is treading on all too familiar critical territory....but it's a real fucking concern..........people always pretend as if they are savvy ( "of course i know it's all bullshit")......but they still fucking buy in...........campaigns are based on hiding the issues.....on tricking the citizenry......and on pissing me OFF!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HONESTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how the fuck can a person be THAT dedicated to one fucking party?......how can someone stand behind some naive notion that EVERYTHING they say is CORRECT...and ALL of their beliefs are the best for a nation...................


Jack Layton is a fucking car salesman.........i'll probably vote NDP.....but fucking hell..........he's such a douche bag.........yet.........he's the best we've got.........isn't that sad?



......just saying you believe in one particular party makes a politician's job so fucking easy.........they merely need to say "YAY-HORSE FUCKER" without really debating the issues........it's sad........it's fucking pathetic.........and i can't stand it..............dbfnj;obdfjkn;gbnj;kgfnbkmjlgfkmgfkm/lhgnkmlkj;l'jh;lhg;,fmnj;lgmhl;gmjl;gdkhlglkhmfsdl;gmfdnhgmhkflhmklgnhklghmkgnmhlkgnhklgnhkghgf





i can't talk right now.....im just getting so pissed off.........i can't write coherently........









..........i fear for our future..............



cam..........

Saturday, January 14, 2006

apologize, america!

please, don't regard this as an overly partisan jab at a particular swath of the Political Spectrum, though that is what this will surely constitute.

but rather, view it as a clever, if somewhat naif suggestion in the realm of Foreign Policy, and Public Relations, and all that manner of bureaucratese.

when, say, you kill at least 18 civilians on foreign soil with goddamn fucking ROBOT PLANES, maybe you could think about - and we're going back to, roughly kindergarten here - maybe the first thing you should do, as a collective entity, is apologize.

and the Official Response, as reported thus far in the press, is - and i quote - that the CIA felt they ordered this attack based upon "good reporting." not, "perhaps that was unwise." not a, "sorry for your loss." not even an insouciant, "sheeeyit, well it looks like that reporting wa'rn't so good after all." but instead, a guarded non-statement that could easily have been, and likely was gathered from some kind of standard Template. thereby, equating the deaths of 18 people with, say, a résumé or party invitation.

there you have it. i'd say that's pretty much the archetypal conservative response. instant damage-control, calculating soulless fuck cover-your-ass bullshit.

and you know what else is archetypally conservative? the response of every reasonably-right conservative who reads this. "well, they were probably harboring terrorists." "the agency can't be blamed for their unreliable information!" or perhaps they'd even call up a time when - gasp! - a LIBERAL caused something similar to happen.

not that i'd expect a conventionally liberal (read: "mainstream") government to behave much differently. nevertheless, america in particular just desperately needs to inject some humanity into their international image. so all i can say is just maybe - it'd be a good idea to apologize first, and ask questions later. even a noncommital, "we regret that such and such has occurred etc. etc. and will do our best to uncover the reasons behind the deaths of etc. etc." would be a better choice than having the first statement that is leaked to the Arab World - and i'm having faint recollections of a conservative bonerfest concerning Newsweek here - is that you attacked some of their citizens sans diplomacy or any such thing because you were pretty sure they deserved it.

fuck sakes! world war I started because some duke nobody even REMEMBERS (except for that lame band) got shot in a country that was barely even involved! and the country you attacked has nukes, for fuck's sakes!

but of course, never will a businessperson understand that sometimes the best response might not be to cover your ass.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

gawrsh.

i haven't posted a thing in a loooooong time. i've mostly been reading over the break, really. got through the baroque cycle, the new marquez.... and after i typed that, i spent like an hour looking at wikipedia and completely forgot about this post.

but i'd just like to say that, in light of recent climate-related events, i am fully in favour of global warming. while once upon a time, i too cringed at the prospect of our impending doom beneath the ever-growing oceans. but it's just so nice out! it's almost like winter has called in sick for the year. so now that i've seen the light, you hippie granola fags can shut up, because i think canada, as a nation, needs to stand behind our brave fossil fuel and petrochemical industries and say, with one proud voice - fuck you, polar ice caps!

if anyone has a refrigerator or car radiator that they'd like disposed of inappropriately, or maybe some aerosol cans that still contain CFCs, please, let me know. i'll be happy to contribute to my pal, the greenhouse effect.

that'll be all.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Minstrel Singer Anew...

i return...you've waited with bated breath...let it out!

the holidays were an interesting time... full of confusion, music making and decisions which may or may not have major implications on my near/distant and uncertain future. But what the hell do you care?


Anyways...

my mom continued her history of getting my brother and i completely random and totally amazing christmas gifts this year. I received a lute...it's an old school guitar/mandolin style instrument...it sounds fucking awesome and i can't wait to piss a live audience off with it ("what the fuck is that guy playing...that self-indulgent cock tease").....it really is awesome to play......but i can't find out exactly how to tune it....so i currently have it tuned to a standard acoustic guitar.....but i sort of think it's supposed to be tuned more like a mandolin.......i guess i'll have to search the internet to find out such information.....i wonder if www.lutefucker.com exists...probably not.


my brother and i began work on an epic album...and started a punk rock side project called Satin Finish...the band's only release is currently titled "Powerchord Rock" and features Liam on guitar and vocals and me on drums and vocals.......we have no songs, no recordings and have rehearsed once....maybe i'm getting ahead of myself.......i love radishes.

matt from effortless records gave liam his old 4-track and we randomly recorded a bunch of noisey little demos (that's right liam...DEMOS...you have to earn it slut)...they sound interesting....this time around it's going to be a big ol' collaboration with all the musician friends i can find and get involved.......oh baby boy!

on a completely different note....don't you folks think that Broken Social Scene are the most overrated band of all time?.........BORING!!!!!.....i've really tried over the last 2 years to figure out what i'm missing (WHY DON'T I LOVE THIS BAND?) but i've come to realize that i just can't stand them...i liked 3 songs off of their last album and never got through their latest s/t release in its entirety even once...i'm glad i didn't see them in Detroit....i would've wanted my 30 bucks back.......fuck them.....arts and crafts = blech.......



......now i just need to learn some Elizabethean ballads, travel to the 16th century and sonically fist fuck a queen with my lute-tastic musical rapings......