Sunday, June 25, 2006

things that piss me off.

so, i haven't posted a thing, for quite a long time. because the seed of misanthropy which has always been present in my wee little congealed heart, has been flourishing under the summer light, and when not enjoying my time off in animalistic self-destruction, my more rational side has been rather hermit-y and sullen, particularly when it comes to the better part of this human race of ours. as every crusty old maid has opined at one time or another, if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

however! i have elected to channel a tidge of this bitterness into some prose for you-all's delectation. 'you-all' being the hypothetical audience of this blog, which has likely dwindled into nothingness by now. if i haven't got something nice to say, i shall at least state my disheartening grievances in a pleasing fashion.

i am at work right now. this is one of the prime things which piss me off. see, for one thing, i hate the fact that i have to engage in this sort of soul-crushing robotic parrot-work in order to support myself and my vices. i hate corporations; all of their doublespeak and euphemism, their blindness and amorality, and most of all the pitiful drones that are my co-workers, who plod through their daily lives unaware of the fact that life could be better in so many ways, if only they were to collectively realize it. quite frankly, there is no reason for my job to exist.

which is one of the many reasons which i hate conservatives. because they are endlessly harping on about how corporations are ever-so efficient, and how all of our problems will be solved by the miracle-working of our brave CEOs. however, the private sector is predominantly composed, like every other 'sector,' of enormous idiots. every corporation with which i have ever dealt has made decisions the likes of which the most inbred retard would be ashamed to have even thought. my employer, for one, has pissed away 100 dollars just today by paying me to be at work for eight hours, doing nothing, posting inflammatory remarks about their idiotic policy choices. even the wacko liberals who deride corporations for being pathological and immoral, completely miss the point. companies don't care only about profit; in fact, they don't care about much of anything. they are fictitious entities, amorphous clouds of silly people bound together only by their suckling at the withered teat of the company payroll.

and obviously, if i hate conservatives and liberals in equal measure, i must have a healthy cupful of loathing for the united states, that wonderful case study which shows the rest of the world how easy it is to be disgusted with both sides of an argument, when its premises are sufficiently idiotic. and while i am sure i will hate china when it holds the balance of world power (not, of course, to say that it doesn't already), i will much prefer hating a real authoritarian regime than one which is too pussified to reveal its true nature. america is basically a huge corporation whose board of directors are presently engaged in a process of massive responsibility-liquidation before they get the fuck out of Dodge. and while i'm on about the Great Satan, and different reasons why it and its culture suck bloated testes, how about advertising? everyone who is in involved in advertising: you serve no useful purpose. you are sucking the joy out of being a human being, and ruining everything good about life. your job is to create a desire which only you can fulfil (for a price, of course), and then to endlessly withold the satisfaction of fulfilment. fucking kill yourself, advertisers, you are the scum of the scum of the earth.

so, as these different phenomena which have me bothered are all human concerns and/or constructions, i feel that i should delve deeper, and consider those human traits which are responsible for our society's paucity of redeeming characteristics. foremost, i would say, is confidence. i fucking hate confidence, for a number of reasons, not least of which is that i have little of it. but, i am proud of my lack of confidence! for you confident folk, with your self-assured grins and swaggering gaits, will be the ruin of us all. see, confidence is more or less the supreme arbiter of cultural recognition and social mobility in our society. the determining characteristic of a leader, in particular, is his or her (but most likely his) level of confidence. and with the greatly exaggerated importance of 'leadership' in this herdlike social hierarchy of ours, we are compelled to obey the will of ranks upon ranks of people chosen to command us based solely on how forcefully they can do so. we are social beings, and thus i think it not inappropriate to assert that every shitty decision ever made is because an overconfident idiot drowned out someone with a better idea.

so, i'm sure you're all thinking, gosh, ali. from your privileged and lofty post as some douchebag with a computer, you certainly have ripped into the flawed institutions of our society with equal measures of cleverness and insight! but are there any naturally-occurring phenomena that really piss you off??

of course! how about physics, for one? ever dropped something? tripped over something? gotten tangled up in some wires? it's all the fault of fucking physics! i call for a boycott.

not to mention electricity; how the fuck does that shit work, anyways??

but that's enough heated vitriol for the time being.

in case you're really feeling down and out after reading this, and need to have your faith in humanity restored by something astonishingly hilarious, head on down and give wigu a read. start from the beginning, and read it all - it's even better if you're at work, and you're effectively stealing back some of your surplus labour from the Man!


At 2:59 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...


You can only hate the corporations from the view of some tiny republic, amidst a sea of oyster shells, barking dogs and general garden banter – You know all the good stuff that fills the void of our lives. So, while our genes sit dormant in our overweight, underutilized bodies vesicles waiting for us to ejaculate, we sit and blame Pepsi Cola and GE for our daily blues. Truth of the matter is, any framework you put on what you like or don’t like, will fall far short of the meaning which is within some dead sperm.

Rotting away in my garbage bin. I don’t know, I hate my job too….but it sure is more fun when I jerk off in the bathroom at break.

Brit Cruise.

At 3:00 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate corporations too. However I discover that the liberals are in general easier to get along with because they tend to have open mind. The conservatives on the other hand are fucking greedy, stupid, narrow mind and always act "I'm hollier than thou". Here in America, you're born to work, slave yourself until you're getting old. By then you'll be replaced by younger slaves. You'll be left with little incomes, little social benefits, discarded by society. You'll become nameless, faceless, non-existent. Did you ever heard any problems facing the senior citizens on the news? Most of the time there is none. They're not even existed. Is Capitalism wonderful?

At 12:12 a.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

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