apologize, america!

please, don't regard this as an overly partisan jab at a particular swath of the Political Spectrum, though that is what this will surely constitute.

but rather, view it as a clever, if somewhat naif suggestion in the realm of Foreign Policy, and Public Relations, and all that manner of bureaucratese.

when, say, you kill at least 18 civilians on foreign soil with goddamn fucking ROBOT PLANES, maybe you could think about - and we're going back to, roughly kindergarten here - maybe the first thing you should do, as a collective entity, is apologize.

and the Official Response, as reported thus far in the press, is - and i quote - that the CIA felt they ordered this attack based upon "good reporting." not, "perhaps that was unwise." not a, "sorry for your loss." not even an insouciant, "sheeeyit, well it looks like that reporting wa'rn't so good after all." but instead, a guarded non-statement that could easily have been, and likely was gathered from some kind of standard Template. thereby, equating the deaths of 18 people with, say, a résumé or party invitation.

there you have it. i'd say that's pretty much the archetypal conservative response. instant damage-control, calculating soulless fuck cover-your-ass bullshit.

and you know what else is archetypally conservative? the response of every reasonably-right conservative who reads this. "well, they were probably harboring terrorists." "the agency can't be blamed for their unreliable information!" or perhaps they'd even call up a time when - gasp! - a LIBERAL caused something similar to happen.

not that i'd expect a conventionally liberal (read: "mainstream") government to behave much differently. nevertheless, america in particular just desperately needs to inject some humanity into their international image. so all i can say is just maybe - it'd be a good idea to apologize first, and ask questions later. even a noncommital, "we regret that such and such has occurred etc. etc. and will do our best to uncover the reasons behind the deaths of etc. etc." would be a better choice than having the first statement that is leaked to the Arab World - and i'm having faint recollections of a conservative bonerfest concerning Newsweek here - is that you attacked some of their citizens sans diplomacy or any such thing because you were pretty sure they deserved it.

fuck sakes! world war I started because some duke nobody even REMEMBERS (except for that lame band) got shot in a country that was barely even involved! and the country you attacked has nukes, for fuck's sakes!

but of course, never will a businessperson understand that sometimes the best response might not be to cover your ass.

gawrsh.

i haven't posted a thing in a loooooong time. i've mostly been reading over the break, really. got through the baroque cycle, the new marquez.... and after i typed that, i spent like an hour looking at wikipedia and completely forgot about this post.

but i'd just like to say that, in light of recent climate-related events, i am fully in favour of global warming. while once upon a time, i too cringed at the prospect of our impending doom beneath the ever-growing oceans. but it's just so nice out! it's almost like winter has called in sick for the year. so now that i've seen the light, you hippie granola fags can shut up, because i think canada, as a nation, needs to stand behind our brave fossil fuel and petrochemical industries and say, with one proud voice - fuck you, polar ice caps!

if anyone has a refrigerator or car radiator that they'd like disposed of inappropriately, or maybe some aerosol cans that still contain CFCs, please, let me know. i'll be happy to contribute to my pal, the greenhouse effect.

that'll be all.