the inoffensivity effect.

the statement "there's never anything good on tv" is simultaneously too strong and too weak a claim.

to be sure, there are some good things on tv. the daily show comes to mind as something that's hilarious almost every night that it's on. i wish it was an hour long. a good chunk of the adult swim lineup is awesome. aqua teen is probably the funniest show on television. south park is funny, even though matt and trey are apparently republicans. (less idiotic than it sounds. but that's a topic for another post) and of course, the simpsons and family guy are good - though the simpsons is more consistent, of late. i watch all of these shows pretty religiously. but with the exception of the daily show, i watch them all either on DVD or downloaded from bittorrents. (digression: myspleen is key if you like adult swim. and all other such dorkiness.)

but. in a much truer sense, there is nothing even remotely good on television. if, like the vast majority of decent people, television is a social thing for you - some flashing lights and sound to accompany your bong rips - it's becoming increasingly difficult to watch. it's not only hard to find something good to watch, it's hard to find something that doesn't make you want to scream over how fucking terrible it is. i spend a ton of time just rooting through the channels for something that i can leave on while i'm rolling a joint that i won't just get pissed off about. something, anything, that won't offend my senses too much. i'll call this.... the inoffensivity effect. even though, ironically, it's the least conventionally-'offensive' shows that i find the most offensive. this goes for 99% of the programming on all the major networks, and definitely what's on muchmusic these days. i don't know, and i welcome comments on the topic, but i'm personally of the opinion that nobody loves Raymond. because raymond sucks ass. i don't see how anyone can see that show and not realize that sitcoms are completely devoid of comedy. audiences are either such fucking sheep they laugh whenever they hear that laugh track, or networks just no longer give a shit about anything. i'm thinking it's a little of both, really.

and muchmusic just makes me want to gag. here's what i imagine the budget to be for every muchmusic show:

$10,000 - graphic design and digital effects
$200 and a few false hopes of ever having a career - on-air personalities
tray of sandwiches - writers, camera operators, anybody with a fucking clue about music or television

does anyone watch this shit anymore? the VJs are retarded. much on demand is a joke - i love when they offer like, three different good charlotte videos to choose from. bullshit like "video on trial" and "heat meter" are not even good enough to be considered shows. they might look like shows, but they sure as hell aren't. my roommates and i have said more insightful and/or humorous things than those troglodytes whilst sitting around the hookah in a daze (digression: the hookah's name is osama bin smokin'). and even yesteryear's bastion of decent music, the wedge, has gone soft. we've watched it a couple times and been unable to discern a single decent video from the whole show. i mean, franz ferdinand isn't as bad as say, nickelback. but they're not a hell of a lot better. it's like people who defend windsor. "hey, we're not as bad as detroit!" yeah, but your town is still a shithole. go lick some more diesel residue off your windows.

would anyone else be totally into a radio 3 music television network? radio 3 dj's have the most consistently good taste, and like most other things cbc, the most consistently good programming. and isn't music television like, stupid cheap to produce? if i'm not mistaken, the videos are free. screw the lame-ass shows, just have a few decent personalities with some inobtrusive commentary, maybe some guest artists, maybe even a current-affairs show like the Hour (but... better). have naomi klein and noam chomsky hot-oil wrestle, or something. make being blasé and disenchanted cool again!

oh, yeah, and the new music can be on this hypothetical channel, as well. it's the only half-decent music show on tv anymore.

c'est tout.