fucking work.

the heartless bastard that scheduled me for work at 7:30 am today needs to die. i mean, i love waking up at 6am and all, but what the fuck?! there's no possible reason to have people on the phone at this hour. at least i managed to get in an hour or so of sleep before any management got here. plus, i have the added bonus of being done early enough that i probably won't see my actual boss very much. which is a definite plus, cos i can't stand that smarmy fucker. and when he's not in, then i can be on the internet all i want.

i'm currently pondering a dilemma, namely that of what i want to do for the summer.

my favourite boss ever has called me up, and is pretty much desperate to have me work for him again on his farm. he's the coolest shit; he's down with smoking trees, and just generally such a funny guy. plus he pays me under the table, which is solid, and i'll get a ton of hours with him. and i basically live at his house when i'm working there, so i get meals cooked for me by mrs. farmer, and i don't spend any of the money i make. also i'll get all tanned and (relatively) buff ... since the job is hard-as-fuck physical labour. and he's going to give me a car while i'm woring there. i'd be working with some machinery, but the majority of the job is always picking up hay bales and getting them up into the barns. which is sort of the downside of the job. it's so freaking difficult, and when it's really hot outside it's basically hell. in a much more in-your-face way than this job.

the alternative is staying here in london, at my call centre job. which isn't looking too appetizing, especially today. i work maybe 24 hours a week right now, and i feel like working any more than that here will turn me homicidal. 40 hours a week would mean me showing up with an uzi one day; less than 40 hours a week would mean me making no money yet again this summer. i hate this place with a burning passion and i'd really rather be chucking hay bales in hell. at least there i'm not so damn alienated. it's a good feeling to see a field full of hay turn into a barn full of bales. a hillbilly-type good feeling, but a good feeling nonetheless. however, remaining in london would mean that i'd have a hell of a lot better time when i wasn't at work. the girl that i went to visit in europe is coming back at the end of june, and i miss her inordinately much, for a booty call. i try my best not to, but i can't help it, really. plus most of my friends will be in london; whereas i know nobody out where i'd be working on the farm. so that would be a source of bitterness for me whilst i was there. and let's see, what else. hmmm... i wouldn't have to work 13-hour days here.

so in a nutshell: option 1 means lots of money, no social life, and healthier me. option 2 means lots of fun, no money, and unhealthy me.

gah!

oh, right. and if i quit my job to go work on the farm, then i don't know what the fuck i'll do next year for a job. and i really can't live without this job, for all that i hate it. especially when i've got a school schedule that prevents me from being scheduled for lame-ass shifts like these. which i'm going to make sure i have next year.

c'est tout. for now.

thought of the day: the only thing that can't be achieved through hard work and perseverance is the desire to work hard and persevere.